There’s a new sense of anticipation in the air. Jai Ho!

The politics of tamasha might not be finding too many buyers any longer Perform or perish, that seems to be the present mood

Vinod Khanna and Shekhar Suman lost the elections, Govinda didn’t get a call, Dharmendra and Hema Malini backed out, Sanjay Dutt had to back out, and Rakhi Sawant wasn’t even considered. With the electorate becoming more discerning and demanding, I suspect the era of actors-turned-politicians might be coming to an end. Or rather, let’s say the politics of tamasha, of exploiting a star or a situation only for its speculation-value, might not be finding too many buyers any longer. Cut the crap – the message is loud and clear.

That’s not to say that film stars are not capable of becoming good politicians or leaders but I think capability and sincerity will be the key whatever the status, class or profession. Perform or perish, that seems to be the present mood.

Although it’s not just the political parties which look for mileage through this association; the film stars get to go on a trip too. The starched cotton kurtas, the pallu on the head, the sun glasses and the joined hands… I remember a senior journalist once telling me about the time when Reena Roy decided to support a political party floated by Dev Anand and Vijay Anand. The party, apparently, never got off the ground but it created quite an excitement within the film industry while it did. Reena Roy was a case in study on the day of their first (and only) rally at Shivaji Park. Dev Sa’ab had invited most of his colleagues for support which, perhaps mistakenly, Ms Roy took for an invitation to stand for elections. “At least it seemed like that to us. Straight from her feathers and plumes she got into a white cotton sari, plaited her hair, put her pallu on her head, sat in her white car and took off towards the venue,” the bemused journalist narrated. “Throughout the half hour drive, right from her house till she reached Shivaji Park, Reena Roy had her hands joined in a namaste to the junta on the roads even though nobody could see her through the dark glasses of her car! She was tripping on her neta number!”
The best was apparently when she was asked by Dev Anand to take the mike at the rally. “We were in splits,” revealed the scribe. “By then she was so deeply gone into her avatar that she probably forgot she was a star who’d just got off an expensive car. She started saying things like ‘Humare ghar mein gas nahin hai, mitti ka tel nahin hai, anaaj nahi hai…’ You should have seen the puzzled look on the crowd’s face and the embarrassment on Vijay and Dev Anand’s faces. We wanted to crawl out and disappear!” Jeez!

Well! Being fair to Reena Roy, our Parliament has definitely seen worse! From what I hear and know, Reena Roy was a fairly competent and successful actress in her time, which is more than one can say about 80% of our parliamentarians. But hopefully things are changing on both sides. That’s what I started out to say in the first place. There’s a new sense of anticipation in the air.

Jai Ho!

Stop worrying about who's getting the bigger share, first ensure you have something to share

In case you haven’t noticed, films have been off the shelf for a couple of weeks now. The producers are demanding bigger cuts from the Multiplex owners who are not willing to budge because they say they have their own basket of woes. “Akshay Kumar’s last release TASVEER 8x10 took a 25 to 40 percent initial. His earlier film CHANDNI CHAUK TO CHINA was marginally better. Shah Rukh Khan’s RAB NE…and BILLOO BARBER’s collections were below expectation. Abhishek Bachchan’s DRONA and DELHI 6 flopped! They have some gall asking for bigger cuts! Arre get the audience in first!” Harsh words! But the same rule goes for the producer isn’t it! A flop hurts him as much as it hurts the theatre owner.

So now the Multiplex owners have decided that as soon as the producers lift their ban and start releasing their movies, they will clamp their own ban by shutting their gates for Hindi films indefinitely! English and regional cinema is keeping their seats and samosas hot! Apparently both FAST AND FURIOUS (English) and MEE SHIVAJI RAJE BOLTO AI (Marathi) have done better business then TASVEER. Or so the reports say.

I think we need to get our house in order first. We can’t manufacture and distribute damaged goods and also haggle over them ourselves! The producers and multiplex owners can battle it out till cows come home but the fact of the matter is that they cannot convert their losses into gains unless they make watchable films – with or without the stars!

You spent millions on your film? You have the biggest stars? You have points to prove to your opponents? Totally not our problem! The audience doesn’t care! The shut auditoriums aren’t bothering them too much, “because you can’t miss bad films.” I was talking to a couple of my friends and acquaintances, film buffs mostly, and their response had me worried “Na rahega baans, naa bajegi baansoori,” said one of them. “One film costs my family at least 2 to 3 thousand rupees a week. Nobody watches a movie alone. We are 5 in our family and sometimes friends join in, then popcorn and samosas and ice creams, petrol…and 3 to 4 times a month. That’s 8 to 10 grand monthly! Almost a hundred thousand in a year! And most of the films are disappointing. Imagine the money I’m saving. I can easily watch the film when it comes on television or on DVD. Better to utilise the money in something more productive. The chance that you’ll get your money’s worth is 1 is to 100. I have started reading books and I think that’s far more fulfilling. One good film is not worth 320 bad ones!”

Na rahega baans, na bajegi baansoori! That sounds ominous! I suggest the sooner they resolve this matter the better it might be for the parties concerned. What if by the time the producers and multiplex owners decide to open shop, the audience decides to go on a strike! Humari maange poori karo! Give us good films! Down with bad films!

So guys here’s some advice if it holds any water for anyone. Instead of worrying about who’s getting the larger share, first ensure you have something to share. What you call collection, is at the end of the day, the audience’s hard earned money. What about bettering their compensation first?

There was a time when film folk were interesting, engaging, authentic, and, above all, graceful. But these days they are only in a hurry.

Cine Blitz completes 35 years in publishing this month and we are as wide awake as if it were just our first morning. Even though our fervour is, more often than not, not reciprocated…

Where is the time to stand and stare…or reflect!

Or do things just for the joy of it…It’s getting tougher for us, I must confess. Our best ideas for features, interviews and covers lie in our files, awaiting the patronage of an adventurous spirit, a breed, I’m afraid, rapidly diminishing amongst film stars.

Believe me, being the in-flight magazine for Kingfisher Red makes us the most circulated film magazine anyways. We catch more eye-balls than any other film or celebrity magazine in the country, so our concerns are not readership related. We grudge the joy of working that is denied to us.

Photo sessions and interviews are treated like chores by most of the stars, tiresome chores to be completed before the release of a film. No harm in that as long as they care enough to make it half as worthwhile for us and our readers as it is for them. Most of these interviews are distributed like pamphlets amongst the media. Minutes are divided by shoddier seconds. Let’s finish it off over the phone please. Unfortunately there are enough buyers for these ‘long distance short interviews’. How far we can hold our own in this completely impersonal atmosphere is a matter of thought. From their managers urging us to put their stars on our covers before the release of their films, sometimes, it becomes impossible to get even a ‘No’ in response from the very stars when you want to contact them in between releases. They are hard-pressed for time I know, but some of them are just uncultured, swollen-headed, full-of-themselves, badly-behaved assholes! Covers done, film is released, raat gayi, baat gayi! No replies, no call back, no courtesies, no graces, no etiquette… Too accustomed to their one-night stands, huh?

So let’s continue treating each other as a necessary evil and go through the motions. Everything cold, calculated and business-like, mechanically done with an eye on the final result, like making babies in a test tube! Now how much fun can that be!

There was a time, not too far back, when interviewing film stars was a pleasure, when interaction with them was more personal and meaningful. You could have real conversations with them. There was a time when film folk were interesting, engaging, authentic, and, above all, graceful. But these days they are only in a hurry.

A browse through our old issues always takes us back to those times when stars still had something to say. And we had something to write.

It’s not the same any longer. It’s not been the same for a long, long time.