Akshay should be making a little silent prayer to God that he’s gotten away with it once again!

Sigh. Apparently some mysterious elements are trying to sabotage Akshay Kumar’s films. “Because they are jealous,” Kumar declared with great seriousness on National Television, but refused to divulge the names of the culprits. “I’ll divulge the names when the time comes.” That time doesn’t exist, that we all know.

All these big superstars, all seasoned and beefed-up and seen the good and the bad and all that jazz, should be men enough to take a couple of blows on their chin, one would have thought. But who says big boys don’t cry!

It’s one thing being a superstar on paper. It’s easy to say, “I’m humbled” when the honours are pouring in but you really need to have a lion’s heart to accept rejection with the same humility. “I goofed, guys, I’ll try harder the next time.” In inconvenient times we’ve seen the biggest of them drop poise and get all prickly and defensive and un-humble suddenly. Shah Rukh Khan blamed the press for the debacle of PHIR BHI DIL HAI HINDUSTANI. Amitabh Bachchan put up huge ads in the papers comparing Abhishek Bachchan to Al Pacino and Marlon Brando immediately after the release of GURU. It’s becoming a regular affair. Flash press conferences, last minute success parties, blatant declarations of box office collections…and whatever it takes.

And so Akshay Kumar pulls out this conspiracy theory after his latest film KAMBBAKHT ISHQ gets bad reviews. He should be thanking his stars if his film (like they claim) has raked in the two crore viewers and the Rs.100 crore box office collection. He should be making a little silent prayer to God that he’s gotten away with it once again!

By the way, whoever they are who are supposed to be conspiring against Akshay Kumar’s movies, must surely be ace idiots! They are not expecting Akshay Kumar to come up with a MUGHAL-E-AZAM someday, are they!

Sorry I miss the joke. What’s so funny? Being raped or being accused of rape?

Inside this issue there’s an interview with Shiney Ahuja, taken a couple of days before he was arrested. We did toss around with it a bit, wondering if we should pull out the pages. But finally we decided to go with it. We’d like to believe Shiney is innocent until proven otherwise. Especially for his wife and child’s sake, we hope he is.

His wife Anu had kept herself away from the public eye for so many years because she wanted her kid to have a normal upbringing. It is sad that she had to be introduced to the world in such a fashion, the very normalcy she wished to protect, exploding in her face.

There are some smses floating around the place making jokes about this incident. Some newspapers even printed those jokes. I miss the mirth. What’s so funny? Being raped or being accused of rape?

We love the theory of Crime and Punishment. We love taking on the high stool and playing moral umpires. We draw strict lines between the victim and the victimiser, and also keep the right to decide with ourselves. It is not because Shiney’s a celebrity that I am hoping what’s being reported about him is untrue; every time I read or hear of rape I pray to God that it’s not true. Every time I read or hear of rape my stomach churns with unbearable sadness and dread.

Call me a fuddy-duddy, I am not yet desensitised enough to make light of it.