Eventually, our needs, film stars or not, are almost always, basic and simple

What makes you truly happy? – We put that question to our film stars this month and you’ll read their responses inside – Kids, pets, friends, lovers, music, monsoons, moms, books, smiles…Eventually, we all breathe the same air. Eventually, our needs, fi lm stars or not, are almost always, basic and simple.

In the course of my 25 years in this profession, I have so often been pushed and prodded to answer all kinds of questions about fi lm stars. We tend to imagine fi lm stars live on a different planet – that they are exempted from all those small day to day things that make a common man’s life, that they have different emotional needs, or maybe that they have no emotional needs at all! We imagine that all that fame and fortune makes their hearts beat differently, that they live in a world run by a different, more benevolent god.

Amitabh Bachchan had once told me in an interview a long time ago, that an actor’s job makes him even more fragile and vulnerable because he is constantly drawing out emotions from within to put them in a character, which could leave him empty and drained or incapable of reacting emotionally to real life situations. All the more reason perhaps why they would protect and hang on to their emotional zones so fi ercely. And let’s face it, whether they require it or not, compassion and concern is not something that will come very easily their way. Even among their own family and friends, I have seen them be the constant benefactor, obliged to be the sole provider of not only good life but good cheer and good behaviour. Obliged to succumb to unreasonable demands from their siblings and spouses...compensating, forever, for being perceivably the more fortunate member of the family…and forever short-changing one self emotionally...

I have seen actresses letting their siblings walk all over them out of some strange sense of guilt. I’ve seen parents use their famous sons and daughters to fulfil their own desperate dreams. I’ve seen married actors walk onto their sets without breakfast or in the same crumpled clothes as the previous day because there’s no one at home to look into these mundane matters so early in the morning. I’ve seen so many of them subjected to the inverted snobbery syndrome within their own immediate environments.

Words of a famous actor to an actress friend: “There are very few people in my life whom I can take for granted, who I know are there and will be there for me always even if I don’t meet them, don’t speak to them for months, if I don’t ever do anything for them…people who need and expect nothing from me…please don’t take that away from me…I need to know you’re there even if only to take you for granted…”

That was in 1996. They are still friends even though their worlds are completely apart now and they hardly ever meet.

We need to get closer to the gut if we desire a deeper impact

Rizwan Khan was beautiful; gentle, non-confrontational yet straightforward and truthful, and always wanting to do the right thing without making much ado. It’s not surprising that the world has a medical term for his condition. Even if it’s shocking what we will accept within the parameters of normalcy. But why get into these philosophical existential debates of what’s normal and what’s not, considering the film doesn’t.

Rancho of 3 IDIOTS was more audacious, always smarter and better than his immediate neighbour and a bit too worldly-wise and smug for his age perhaps, but a hero all the same. He had all the answers. Wish it was so easy and breezy in real life.

Both movies gathered millions and made a huge impact. Both heroes caught the fancy of the audience. But have we really broken new cinematic ground?

Even though we are tackling more challenging themes, our narratives continue to be dripping with kitsch. Both films unabashedly played to the galleries. 3 IDIOTS even more than MY NAME IS KHAN. As long as we continue to maintain this huge gap between cinema and life, these messages, however noble, will have little more than speculation value. The worlds we create on celluloid will remain to be unattainable in our minds, a faraway fantasy. We need to get closer to the gut if we desire a deeper impact – provided, we do and if at all we need to. For argument’s sake, why should a filmmaker be doing an educationist’s or a leader’s job? His primary job is to entertain and ensure his financers a profit. And finally, even a gutsy film may end up doing nothing. Writers, filmmakers, poets, artists, Sufis, gurus have been advocating love, peace and compassion for over hundreds of years now, but we continue to plant explosives under the tables of unsuspecting 20-year-olds. We continue to vandalise each other’s homes and cities.

Any significant change cannot be brought about in isolation or overnight. It requires amalgamation of all available forces. A nation that honours and revels in mediocrity needs to break many domestic grounds before it breaks any other. And cinema is just a small part. We have criminals and murderers looking upon us as our elected leaders but we are not even going there. I’m talking about the recent National Award and Padmashree announcements.

I wonder if receiving these honours has indeed been as honourable as it was meant to be for both Arjun Rampal, recipient, National Award and Saif Ali Khan, recipient, Padmashree. An honour that needs to be justified is not an honour. It is an embarrassment. And, true honour is in knowing that you are remarkable, not in being told so. But these are only lofty words, like our films. Arjun Rampal not only had a party to celebrate his award but is also said to have called up some of his colleagues and bragged, ‘Are you a National Award winner? No, isn’t it? But I am.’ Saif tried to justify his Padmashree on the front page of a daily, saying maybe he was given the honour because of LOVE AAJ KAL! A little hesitance from them would have probably made them a little more deserving.

That’s honour for you in the times of bomb blasts! It’s a futile battle. So let us not fool ourselves and accord ourselves some undue significance. Let us revel in our mediocrity and kitchy-ness.

Where’s the party tonite?!

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the flooziest of them all?

Comical! Two fairly successful and established actresses have been hopping on their heads for the last one month, trying to outdo each other. It’s getting shriller and fiercer inside the ring, but who’s looking?! Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the flooziest of them all?

Thus ensues, the Ridiculous Battle for Supremacy! Whose legs are longer, whose waist is smaller, who gets the bigger men, who gets the bigger money, who has more fans, who has more films, who is sexier, who’s the better actress, scratch, snatch, claw, clench… Who’s the queen of the powder room?

Does this No 1 jamboree make any sense to anyone any longer? Can’t go looking for one every Friday?

Truth is that no one cares, so who are Kareena and Katrina singing their songs for? The auditorium gets empty every three hours. Even the tiny piece of popcorn under seat K11 is vacuumed out. The audience returns to their homes and their lives…

Go get one, girls…and let your publicity managers have one too.

It’s been a long time…

We finally launched the Cine Blitz Gold coffee-table book this month, titled, Love and Longing in Hindi Cinema. The book travels through the decades and takes a closer look at the various interpretations of romance from KAAGAZ KE PHOOL to KABHI ALVIDA NA KEHNA.

Apart from valuable inputs from industry influentials like Aamir Khan, Katrina Kaif, Karan Johar, Javed Akhtar, Vikram Bhatt, Sriram Raghavan…there is a wealth of well researched information laid out along with breathtaking pictures from the past and the present.

While working on this book along with my gang of girls, I realised how much I’d actually been missing romance in our movies. I don’t think it’s just nostalgia. My younger colleagues agree with me as well, most of them being in their twenties. There is a sort of purposive-ness that’s crept in, the hunger for eminence overpowering the hunger to express…

In a way, this book is a reminder of how vital romance is, not just for our movies but also our lives. Love, longing, angst, passion, romance, music, melody, grace, gentleness, affection, monsoons, mountains…memories…being completely and wholly alive…living life from the heart…being full and overflowing…rather than empty and dry.

So let’s bring back the romance into our films and our lives, guys. And let’s not be apologetic about being emotional fools. Leave the calamities and the catastrophes, the demons, the devils and the disasters to the phobic Big Daddy. We are Indians. We are a joyous people. Give us our song and dance…and romance. Give us our joie de vivre. It’s been a long time…

The Theatre Of The Absurd?

Most of the statements made in this editorial, including the header above, don’t belong to me, even though I wish they did! ? These thoughts and words belong to some of the most prolific social commentators/ thinkers of our times who I happened to watch and hear on a forum discussion on CNN IBN. The topic was Rahul Bhatt and David Headley. Voice and words, theirs, sentiment, exactly mine. I couldn’t have put it better than them, so why waste time?

Filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt’s son Rahul Bhatt and his friend Vilas volunteered to help the investigating agencies with crucial information on the David Headley case and fell in between the slats. Maa main desh ka sachcha naagrik banoonga? Slap! Slap!

The kids deserved better. An anguished Mahesh Bhatt cried out at the CNN IBN show, “It was Rahul and his friend Vilas who walked into the office of the Head of Crime in the Mumbai Police department and said that maybe David Headley was the same person that they ran into two years ago and that changed the course of their investigation. The authorities in Delhi were clueless till then. And when the Intelligence experts came they privately thanked us and said this was the right thing to do because we guys were groping in the dark. Is this how you reward two young men who have done what the nation prescribes to everyone? I think no. They imposed a code of silence on us and then selectively leaked out the information to suit their own designs. I am outraged. I am hurt, betrayed by the authorities who are actually supposed to handle this case with great sensitivity. It is the duty of the investigative agencies to come clean and tell the truth in a shriller voice that can be heard.” Duties of the investigative agencies! Have we heard that anywhere before?

As Pooja Bhatt rightfully pointed out, David Headley officially gets a visa, gets into the country, scans the cities, moves around freely, gets a house, enrols himself in a gym while the Intelligence sits on its butt. It is left up to the FBI to ring the alarm bells after which two unsuspecting youths come forward and voluntarily offer valuable clues. And what happens to these two young conscientious citizens? They suddenly need a clean chit to lead a normal life!

What disturbed senior lawyer Harish Salve was that “the impression which has been indelibly created is that these boys are up to something.” Salve expressed his dismay vociferously. “We look more and more like a lynch mob and less and less like a democracy. All you need is the police to cast aspersions on somebody and we are ready to beat up people. We are becoming a country of gestures, we are not delivering results. How many convictions have we opted? It is the theatre of the absurd.”

“Why should we harass two citizens who have behaved correctly?” Social scientist Shiv Vishwanathan demanded to know. “In fact, I am surprised why no one asks whether the Home Secretary should get a clean chit or why no one asks whether the CBI or the other investigating agencies should get away so easily. This is a serial of stupidity, stupidity of investigation, and the intelligence of citizenship succumbing to the stupidity of an investigation.”

Sadly for these brave youngsters, Vilas has already lost his job at the Moksh Gym and Rahul is losing his mind wondering what wrong he did.

And far away somewhere Mr Amitabh Bachchan is upset about Shah Rukh Khan not responding to his birthday wishes.

What planet is it where we live these days?

What’s shocking is rocking or what’s rocking is shocking!

WANTED strikes gold and two weeks later, MAIN AURR MRS KHANNA bites the dust. Gauri Khan’s ramp walk created more flutter in the media than Salman and Sohail Khan’s film. Is there any method to this madness? I don’t think so.

I loved WANTED. It was a typical, loud, predictable pot-boiler of the senseless Eighties which we’ve seen to death but yet I enjoyed it thoroughly. No logic. But I didn’t even feel like watching MAIN AURR MRS KHANNA. No logic. I am a film buff, I love Kareena Kapoor, I enjoy watching her on screen, I had enjoyed watching Salman in WANTED and I wasn’t doing much at home during the Diwali holidays but I couldn’t get myself to go and watch that film. I just didn’t feel like it.

There’s a dialogue in Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s ANAND – (My interpretation) Hum sab rangmanch ki kathputliyan hain (film stars, in this case) jinki dor uparwale (the audience) ke haath mein hai. Kab kaun kaise uthega yeh koi nahin bata sakta…The dialogue is followed by a loud guffaw. Hahahahahahahaha! Exactly my sentiment when I think of fame in the modern day context. Famous for being famous is the new phenomenon of the 21st century; the triumph of the trivial, thanks to the 24x7 streaming on the news channels; and we are all hooked to it. Looking for logic in what’s rocking and what’s not is a lost cause. Kabhi bhi kuch bhi rocking ho sakta aur wohi shocking bhi ho sakta hai.

For all that endless debate and analysis of what the viewer really wants and doesn’t want, I don’t think we can ever predict why we respond to certain things in a certain manner and why we, all of a sudden, stop responding to those same things in that certain manner.

Taking joy in nonsense is one thing, but I hope we haven’t started taking nonsense as joy!

Am I making any sense? Does it still matter?

It isn’t the whistle that pulls the train, you know. It is the steam.

Talking of optical illusions, someone told me that Sridevi has lost so much weight, especially on her waist, that it looks like she’s done a boob job. But why would she do that, now, at this age and time in her life?! “They look ominously big and out of proportion suddenly! A bit like Dolly Parton.” Well!!! It’s possibly just optical trickery, the thinner waist making the bosom look bigger…or may be, like she used to in her good ole HIMMATWALA days, Sri still stuffs them up.

Silicone implants happened to our film industry long after Thunder Thighs descended on us. Sushmita Sen was the first actress to go to town with her breast implants and since then it’s sort of blown out of proportions! Liposuctions, nose jobs, cheek jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, skin peels, laser scrubs, contouring, sculpting, etc, etc. There are as many horror stories as well. Pretty-looking faces turning grotesque overnight! Botox is paralysing even the tiny traces of expression we occasionally got to see on some of these actresses’ faces. Some of them actually look like their own wax replicas. I don’t think there is any actor, male or female, who hasn’t done ‘corrections’. Lips and Jaws seem to be the latest obsession in town. A month-long holiday to some unknown foreign destination and suddenly you find them stepping down the Mumbai airport with swollen lips and painfully stretched, razor-edged jaw lines. I hope they can chew their food, poor things.

In 1947, when Kedar Sharma introduced fourteen-year-old Madhubala along with the nineteen-year-old Raj Kapoor in NEEL KAMAL, he apparently asked the under-developed teenager to tuck some coconut shells into her blouse. Ouch! That must hurt!

Enhancement is a big part of show business, no doubt. But it isn’t the whistle that pulls the train, you know. It is the steam. I mean, wear stilettos by all means but don’t get so tall on me that I start wondering if you have a face at all! Finally, you know, there’s a big difference between a beautiful actress and one who acts beautifully. A balance between the two would not be such a bad idea either.